See Good Recipes Below!

Announcing! Dave's newest E-Book just published by Amazon.com. You can download it for just 49 cents.

The Amazon.Shorts division of Amazon.com just published my e-book Skinny Cooks Can't Be Trusted. It's available for download for 49 cents and contains 15,346 words in it's sixty-four pages of fun and informative reading.

While I've been choosing my words as a freelancer for a long time, I had to learn to work with a whole new way of publishing in this project and it's been fun.

Now, folks from around the world can download and enjoy some Things You Can Do with A Tube of Biscuits In The Privacy of Your Home, get my recipes for The World's Most Dangerous Soups and experiment in cooking with booze with my Kicking Mule In The Kitchen recipes.

The e-book can be accessed and downloaded by going to Amazon.com and entering Skinny Cooks - or my name Dave Kessler - in the search box. This link will take you directly to my book: http://www.amazon.com/Skinny-Cooks-Can%C2%92t-Be-Trusted/dp/B000JFZAII/sr=11-1/qid=1163182288/ref=sr_11_1/102-7056286-4692931 if you copy and paste it in your browser's search box.

It's been a fun experience for me. It will be the most fun you can have for 49 cents anywhere in the world! Thanks. Dave

Skinny Cooks Can't Be Trusted - Dave Kessler World's Best Cream Puffs The folks at the Indiana State Fair did a big time promotion in an attempt to establish cream puffs as a special treat for fairgoers. I didn't hear the final results but they had hoped to sell 20,000 or more cream puffs. It just happens that I'm a cream puff man of the first degree. In the past I have been known to drive a hundred miles to Columbus, OH just to eat a cream puff knowing all the while that I could make my own world's best cream puffs. There's no way of knowing how many cream puffs have been made and consumed using the recipe I'll share with you today but it's estimated that at least hundreds-of-thousands of cream puffs have been produced by dining establishments, bakeries and home cooks using this recipe.

You might as well join the crowd and make your own cream puffs. Somebody said "If you eat these standing on one foot they won't add calories to your diet."

World's Best Cream Puffs Pastry: 6 tablespoons butter; ¾ cup water; ¾ cup flour; Pinch of salt; 4 large eggs. Cream Filling: 1 pint milk; ¼ teaspoon salt; 1 Tablespoon butter; 3 large eggs; 3 Tablespoons corn starch; 1 teaspoon vanilla; 4 Tablespoons cold milk; ½ cup sugar; Garnish with powdered sugar.

To make the pastry bring the water and butter to a boil. Add the flour and salt and stir with enthusiasm until lumps, or balls, form in the center of the pan before removing from the heat. Add the unbeaten eggs one at a time beating the batch well. Form the dough into balls about the size of small hamburger buns. Bake on a greased sheet at 350 degrees until they puff, then lower the heat to 300 degrees and continue baking until the puffs have turned a light golden color. When cooled, cut off the top of the puff and scoop out the center to make a cavity for the filling. Be sure to save the top to use as a cover over the filling.

Filling: This makes a nice vanilla custard filling. You may add lemon, butterscotch or almond flavoring if you wish. Place milk, salt and butter into a double boiler and bring to a boil. Beat the eggs and add to the ingredients in the double boiler. Dissolve the corn starch, cold milk and vanilla and add to the double boiler. Cook 5 minutes. Add the sugar and cook 3 or 4 minutes until thick. Spoon the filling into the cavity of the puffs, cover with the puff lid and sprinkle on some powdered sugar. Refrigerate until ready to serve. You'll enjoy these wonderful cream puffs every time you make them.

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Selling Real Estate By Auction Book, How To, Training Manual. By Dave Kessler Auctioneer-Realtor.

This is the book used by America's Auction Schools to teach Brokers & Auctioneers how to sell real estate by auction. It's the all-time best seller real estate auction book.

A comprehensive guide to taking a piece of real estate from listing through closing using the auction method of marketing.

Dave Kessler, Auctioneer-Realtor developed insights through his 48 years of experience that have been gathered into this compilation of everything you need to know about selling real estate by auction. Because of his knowledge and successful experience the author has been contracted to sell more thn 60 real estate properties owned by other Auctioneers and Realtors.

Dave has personally taught more than a thousand auctioneers, Realtors, attorneys & accountants his methods and techniques for selling real estate by auction. He has recently sold as many as 474 real estate transactions in a year.

If you also wish to become exceptioinally effective at selling real estate this is the one book you must own.

Only $10.98 + $2.50 for Shipping & Handling. It's 5 1/4"x 8 1/2" with 105 pages. ISBN1-88169-001. Limited number of original first editions printed in 1996.

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"Best of Dave" Kessler On Auctions. "The observations and stories of Dave Kessler have entertained and informed members of the auction industry for years and now, for the first time, there is a collection of his best works available to the public. Kessler, a long-time writer for The Auction Bottom Line, The Auctioneer & Auction World , has shared his secrets for success as well as his ideas and predictions about what is happening in the auction industry. His humorous and educated approach makes this a fun read for any auctioneer - and now for any member of the auction going public." -Quote from The Gavel House Press.

Written for the "insiders" in the auction industry. Secrets, insights and caveats revealed. 8 ¼ x 5 ¼ Paperback book. 125 pages. ISBN 1-888169-02-8.

Limited number of original first editions. Only $10.98 + $2.50 shipping & handling. Kesspress, 510 Greenbrier Drive, Richmond, IN 47374. Email dave@kesspress.com Thanks.

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Skinny Cooks Can't Be Trusted - Dave Kessler Landlubber Crab Cakes. Crab cakes are a real delicacy when served as appetizers or as the main entrée. When traveling near the ocean I always enjoy the local varieties. When out here in Indiana and neighboring states I rarely buy crab cakes as I think they often have too much bread extender in them and are often greasy. That's not to say that I don't have crab cakes in Indiana. I do when I get a chance to make my own.

King crab legs, that's the big ones with the most meat, are sometimes on sale and I always try to get a few. Boiled King Crab legs with lemon butter are among the most delicious foods anyone can find. Using some of the boiled meat from King Crab legs is a wonderful way to make your own crab cakes. But, sometimes, between sales I get the crab cake hungries and use canned white lump crab meat to make some very tasty crab cakes.

You can eliminate some of the greasy breading situation by not using any breading to coat the outside of the crab cake. You can eliminate the grease by slightly browning the crab cakes for a minute or one-and-a-half minutes in a non-stick skillet then baking them. Try this recipe when you can. You'll enjoy it.

Landlubber Crab Cakes. 2 (6 oz.) cans lump white crab meat, drained; ¾ cup seasoned Italian bread crumbs; ¼ cup Mayonnaise; 1 large egg; 1 ½ teaspoon of lemon zest; 3/4 tablespoon red pepper sauce - 8 or 9 spluts; 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce; 1 rib celery, minced; 2 tablespoons minced onion.

Always check the crab meat after you drain it to be sure that all pieces of shell or membrane have been removed. Simply mix all the ingredients together in a bowl much like you'd mix a meat loaf.

Use a big spoon to lift some of the crab meat mixture out of the bowl and place it in your non-stick skillet. A big spoon full for entrée size serving or a small spoon full for an appetizer. Gently push the crab meat mixture with the back of the spoon to make it cake or patty shape.

Sauté to lightly brown about a minute or minute and a half on each side. Use a spatula to transfer the crab cakes to a greased cookie sheet. Bake in a pre- heated oven set at 350 degrees for approximately 10 minutes. Serve with chili sauce or mustard and mayonnaise mixed together for a nice treat.

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Skinny Cooks Can't Be Trusted.

Sections include Walking Around & Warm Up Foods. 21 recipes here including: Rolls Royce Dip, Red Garlic Bread, Flying Saucers For Kids, Spray On Barbecue Sauce, Pirates Fish Batter, Home Made Maid Rite burgers & Breaded Tenderloin Sandwiches.

Salads, Soups & Vegetables. 26 recipes here incuding: Peanut Butter Banana Salad, Quick & Thick Broccoli Soup,Cheese Soup As It Should Be, Industrial Strength Kielbasa Soup, All American Split Pea Soup, 3 Cheese Escalloped Potatoes with Ham, Pig Ears two ways, Pearl Liford's Tomato Gravy, Onion Pie, Betty Grandma's Corn Fritters, Aspargus Casserole & more.

Meats, Poultry & Seafood. 30 recipes here including: Camper's Breakfast, One-eyed Bull, Barbecued Country Ribs, New Paris Boiled Dinner, Ellen's Roast Lamb, Fried Lumpy, Old Family Ham Loaf, Mother's Meat Loaf, Baked Porkchops with Dressing, 7th. Floor Balcony Whole Hog Sausage, Kentucky Cornfield Greasy Beans, Midwestern Flat Plate Jambalaya, Chicken 'N Slickers, Fresh Tomato & Shrimp Spaghetti, Turtle Chowder, Shrimp Tycoon & $14 Oyster Soup.

Cakes, Pies, Cookies & Desserts:29 recipes here including: Painter's Butterscotch Cake, Reeda's Sugar Cream Pie, Lena's Lemon Cake Pie, Graham Cracker Pie, Cherry Wad, Twso-story Pumpkin/mincemeat Pie, Bryon's Pumpkin Roll, Aunt Glady's Dutch Apple Cake, Banana Cake with caremel Icing, George Washington Cake, Antiquer's Cake, Fire Chief's persimmon Pudding, Lemon Ice, World Class Bread Pudding, Mamaw's Shoe Sole Cookies & Soft Caramels <p> Many More Wonderful Recipes: Fried Biscuits, Shrimp & Olive ABiscuit Cups, Overstuffed Pizza, Wine Jellyu, Claude's Cherry Bounce, Geezer Gophers & more.

If you don't weigh more than your refrigerator, you're a skinny cook and you need this wonderful book. You'll love the food! You'll love life! You'll live happily ever after! Only $12.50 + $2.50 Shipping & handling. Order now! Kesspress, 510 Greenbrier Drive, Richmond, IN 47374. Email dave@kesspress.com Thanks! (C) 2005 Dave Kessler. Published 1995.

Skinny Cooks Can't Be Trusted - Dave Kessler Zucchini Freezer Jam I once wrote that "Compared to a rush hour traffic jam, zucchini ain't too bad." Without knowing it, I've had a lady just waiting to ambush me and tell me a thing or two about how delicious zucchini really is. I think she may have stock in a zucchini factory.

In my opinion, zucchini is just a filler in so many other recipes and the real taste comes from the other stuff in the recipe. I've always said this and will keep on saying this just to protect my reputation but, secretly, I do occasionally enjoy some zucchini if I can do it without anybody knowing about it.

Well, this lady gave me a hand full of zucchini recipes and said she'd be looking to see if I could say something nice about zucchini in my column. Here goes: Lady, I think zucchini is such a nice color of green that you should paint every room in your house zucchini green. How's that for something nice? I'm also going to print her recipe for Zucchini freezer jam. Be sure to put in the crushed pineapple and the apricot Jell-O as otherwise it wouldn't taste like much.

Zucchini Freezer Jam 6 cups peeled shredded zucchini; 5 cups sugar; 8 oz. can crushed pineapple; ½ cup Real Lemon juice; 2 (3 oz.) boxes apricot Jell-O.

I'm sure you have some giant zukes laying on your back porch that you couldn't give away. Chop and shred a part of one of these to make this jam. Put the zucchini without water into a sauce pan and cook about twenty minutes. Stir it often so it won't burn or stick. Add sugar, Real Lemon juice and crushed pineapple and cook another ten minutes. Remove from heat and add the apricot Jell-O. Stir and let cool. Let set for at least 6 hours. Place into freezer containers and freeze for future use.

As you say grace before each meal please be sure to give thanks for crushed pineapple and Jell-O. Otherwise, you'll think the devil has taken over your kitchen.

"Secret Yankemfast Dough Balls". My favorite uncle uses our "Secret Yankemfast Dough Balls" and I've never seen him catch a fish less than 2 feet long. He's always winning pay-pond jackpots for the biggest fish or the most pounds caught. He catches catfish, carp and bass.

This recipe uses common household groceries and requires no cooking. Uncle is a catch and release fisherman so he takes a big landing net when he goes fishing. If you're a bring 'em home fisherman you might feel safer taking a pitchfork or harpoon.

"Unfair Advantage Stink Bait" You'll also get our "Unfair Advantage Stink Bait" recipe. Big fish don't have a chance. No blood and no cooking required. Just 2 secret ingredients that mesmerize & attract big fish - much the same as donuts attract cops.

"Alligator, Snapping Turtle, Buzzards & Possums Bait." If you're an outdoor photography fan you may get some great close-up shots when you toss some of our "Unfair Advantage Stink Bait" on the bank.

Only $2.98 will be sent to you by email.

(C) 2005 Dave Kessler. Kesspress, 510 Greenbrier Drive, Richmond, IN 47374. Email dave@kesspress.com Thanks!

This has been a good season for tomatoes here in my neighborhood. I've had a bumper crop and have been able to use them in a variety of ways. This chili sauce or Salsa is one of the things I've done with them and think you might like this recipe as well.

The reason I call it chili sauce or salsa is because you can make it the right consistency for either use. You may want your salsa to be more liquid so you won't cook this as long. If you want nice thick chili sauce for general use be sure to cook it for at least 6 hours. This should thicken it up nicely.

This basic recipe makes a sweet-sour chili sauce that will perk up your taste buds. But, if you want your taste buds to stand at attention just add some chopped jalapeno's to the pot.

This makes a pretty good size batch and should be enough to make Fall last all Winter.

Chili Sauce or Salsa
36 tomatoes, peeled and chopped
5 sour apples, peeled and chopped
6 onions, chopped
2 sweet red peppers, chopped
3 green peppers, chopped
7 stalks of celery, chopped
2 sticks of cinnamon
2 Tablespoons salt
1 Tablespoon celery seed
1 ¾ cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 qt. Vinegar
Optional: Chopped jalapenos if you want it spicy hot

This is an easy to prepare recipe. Just get out a big kettle and toss everything into it. Put it on the stove at low heat and cook six hours. Be sure to stir it regularly so it won't scorch.

Cook less time if you want a liquid consistency or cook for 6 hours for a thicker chili sauce.

Pour into hot, sterile jars and seal. It's worth the time and effort and will cost you a lot less than a gallon of gasoline costs when you do it yourself.

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Groundhog Recipes - Barbecued, Fried & Roasted + A Bonus. By Dave Kessler, author of Skinny Cooks Can't be Trusted.

When it comes to eating groundhog the young ones are delicious. If you happen to get an older groundhiog you can enjoy it the best way as barbecued groundhog sandwiches.

Besides being weather prognosticators groundhogs are vegetarians with big appetites. Most farmers consider them to be varmints because they devour garden vegetables, corn and soybeans.

Groundhogs can often be heard before they're seen. They give a sharp loud whistle when communicating with other groundhogs. In some areas they're even commonly known as "whistle pigs."

• Fried Young Groundhog. You'll get the recipe and process for preparing fried groundhog.
• Barbecued Groundhog. Learn all about the soaking, parboiling and seasoning.
• Roasted Groundhog. You'll learn to soak and parboil them through two-waters, the roasting technique & the vegetables you must add to make a delicious meal in a roaster.
• FREE Bonus. You'll learn how to make groundhog hide shoe laces the "old-timey" way and learn why country boys always carried pocket knives.
• You'll be able to use these recipes with other wild game. You'll get all this in an 800+ word special report.

  Only $2.98. Will be sent to you by email.

  (C) 2005 Dave Kessler. Kesspress, 510 Greenbrier Drive, Richmond, IN 47374. Email dave@kesspress.com Thanks!

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  Garden Salad or Grilled Meat Topping.

  Everybody loves fresh tomato, sliced cucumber & sliced red onion salad topped with Ranch Dressing. Of course, you can also make this using mayonnaise instead of the Ranch dressing. But, if you take it a step further you can enjoy one of the best toppings for grilled hamburgers or grilled chicken. Take 3 or 4 cups of the salad and run it through your blender. This will make a pink, juicy & tasty topping for your good hot grilled meats.